Understanding Them

On 04/01/2012, in Guest, Psychology, The Writer, Thoughts, by saumya

Beauty lies in distortions. This line is an evolved version of my belief- beauty lies in subjectivities. The master who created us has an infinite realm of imagination. Talking specifically of humans, isn’t it fascinating how the Creator, assuming there is one, lent us not just unique looks, but unique psyches too. Furthermore, to even a single human being in a single life span, he gave a myriad of emotions and beliefs to choose from, so that in distinct stages of his life, he could be a distinctly discernible entity. All this uniqueness which the divine Architect lends to the inestimable and increasing swarm of us humans, he commands a personal hats-off from me.


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Relations – the selection process

On 01/02/2011, in Psychology, by Gopan K

once again relations, the famous topic. I have been seeing a lot of quotes and declarations by people these days about relations. People are still trying to develop a formula for sustainable relations. All those rules are handy if we were machines having same configuration as consignment of the computers ordered by a data center.

Alas! its not the case and there is no such rules to cover entire population, but still there are certain things we can take care of

If we have a close look on lives can easily find out that those who are in search of a relation will never get it and those who wants to stay away from relations and stuff always have a list of choice roaming around them. The basic rule of demand and supply in economics will fail pathetically in the case of relations

lets try to evolve certain rules to initiate robust sustainable relations, we have to go through certain terms before you do that

Ambition, expectation, support, care, love, possessiveness

We cannot talk about relations without any of these words, obviously a relation is in anticipation of something from another person, and there is nothing wrong if we are expecting certain things from others and intend to initiate a relation in anticipation of fulfilling certain emotional things missing in the life so far but the point is very simple why should the other person give all those things to you! Thats the big question. We meet people and sometimes some of those people may leave an emotional mark on your memory and make you meet that person again, it could be a specific quality of that person or the overall personality took your heart away. There starts the problem of selection we consider that person as a source of something which we are looking for and our excitement make us ignore the fact that we may not be able to be something similar to the other person.

Another age long debate, should we express our emotions to others when we have something for them? is it a bad ides to stay away from expressing things in the fear of loosing the relation completely? Yes expression is good in an early stage, the advantage is the emotional pain on a rejection is far less when its early

again two points to note before you do it

1) are you certain that you really have a feeling for that person which is practical and reasonable?

2) do you have the strength to hear a negative answer? because we cannot expect the reply to be positive in every case

if you feel that if you express the emotion you may loose that relation then there is no relation at all, you can claim that even the other person may be having the same thought and staying away from expressing in anticipation of the other person to open up first.

If you fear a loss on expression, you don’t have trust on your decision so its always better to let it go, you will surely find a more confirmed person, how long you will stay away from expressing things in the fear of loss? till the end of life? then whats the purpose of such a relation?

and if you are not certain whether you need it or not, always select a NO and wait for a more confirmed relation to come

this is all about selection, will talk about sustainability later

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