Beauty lies in distortions. This line is an evolved version of my belief- beauty lies in subjectivities. The master who created us has an infinite realm of imagination. Talking specifically of humans, isn’t it fascinating how the Creator, assuming there is one, lent us not just unique looks, but unique psyches too. Furthermore, to even a single human being in a single life span, he gave a myriad of emotions and beliefs to choose from, so that in distinct stages of his life, he could be a distinctly discernible entity. All this uniqueness which the divine Architect lends to the inestimable and increasing swarm of us humans, he commands a personal hats-off from me.

However, what should be deemed as beauty is often ridiculed as an inconsistency. I imply the fact that where all these subjectivities in humans, and in different stages of a human’s evolution need to be understood and appreciated, they are simply written off disdainfully by the slightly high bred orthodox class of people. There is a group amongst us, which needs to be understood with a special emphasis. I have recently graduated out of that group. And a new post in a nascent year, I think I would want to devote towards understanding them.

 I was having this discussion with a senior and respected teacher of a Delhi school sometime back. Before the Friendship Day to be exact. The teacher was beaming with pride at having successfully curbed the nonsense of this western tradition from infecting the still pristine, traditional precincts of his school. How? Simple. A raid. Some reprimands. Confiscations. Bands of all colors, some tagged Archies, some endearing strands of hand woven wool- all now lay in school custody. The school authorities were gloating over their assumed success. On my part, I could only sneer. I am still a student at heart, and I know how they function. I could give them in writing what they thought they suppressed was now going to happen with double the vigour, double the charm, double the celebration- well shed from their line of sight but. Some lies, and a proclivity to hide would follow. And who is to blame?

 I was lucky to have studied in one of the best public schools in Delhi, which honored tradition as much as it endeavored to keep pace with the racing times. I being an active, sometimes over-active member of the students’ body could observe similar situations from diverse angles in my school life. At times siding with the school authority to nip impending nuisance in the bud, at times being the proverbial conspiracy’s child getting caught under a deluge of reprimands- I have experienced it all. Two facts invariably emerged from whatever experiences/experiments/observations I had-

1. Using reprimands, coercion, imposition, control, etc as devices to curb students from treading down the road deemed harmful for them is almost like making sure they go there. Nascent brains are supple and obdurate at the same time. Yes, they can be and should be molded, but putting them under sudden pressure just makes them go on the defensive, eventually closing them to any contradictory (and right) opinions.

2. Even when he indulges in a wrongful deed, for once trying to understand why a child did it, using forgiveness in place of rebukes opens up an opportunity for an elder to mentor him for better actions in the future. When he sees concern and not anger, a young adult would feel secure, and then not just listen to your advice, but may be seek it too.

 This is not to say that elders are always right, but as far as I go, I feel they have an exclusive responsibility towards understanding the psyche of the generation they are nurturing towards maturity. They have to allow them and comfort them into speaking. A dynamic and pioneering lady, Dr. Usha Ram, Principal, Laxman Public School, in coordination with Dr. Jitendra Nagpal, an ace Consultant Psychiatrist gifted pan-Delhi school students with the novel concept of an Adolescent Summit some five years back. The aim of the Summit was to allow adolescents to create a Charter for their own health (social, physical and psychological) and development to be submitted to the Ministry of HRD, Planning Commission and the President of India. Beyond the logistics, what was fantastic was to see young adults voice concerns about strained family relations, pubertal health, academic pressures, drug abuse- all in their tongue, all as per their interpretation. My moment of delight was when as a preparatory warm up session, I opened up a group of seventh standard students into talking what bothered them most- it was the peer pressure around substance abuse. They wanted to talk about it, but were scared, and ill informed, and not sure whom to discuss with.

 A famous dictum goes- what you cannot curb, legalize. It gives you a good opportunity to regulate it if not eliminate it. When I was in school, signing up for accounts on orkut and facebook was a taboo. Not only were we discouraged, but also chastised for association with these sites, most often without logical explanations as to why the insistence on abstention. Obvious consequence- we ended up hiding the archive of our online activities. Graver consequence- we did not know where to draw lines. Some time back, a remarkable change set in. More parents and teachers (almost all from my school) started signing up for these networking portals and ‘added’ a lot of their students as ‘friends’. A trip down to school revealed that for teachers there it was a conscious decision. With an admirable glow, one of them remarked how the indecency in juvenile interactions over fb had gone down when teachers developed a friendly attitude in the zone where students devote the longest hours. I could not agree more. I have myself subscribed to my Principal’s feeds, who shares inspirational quotes, links, and videos and continues to be the guiding light, beyond the school stage, beyond the school campus.

 An elder once remarked- “There are something you can’t fight. This is a sign of changing times. The world will evolve, whether you like it or not.” The fb example is the most perfect to string together what I understand of ways to deal with newer generations, being increasingly labeled as ‘degenerations’. More positive can come out of expanding our capacity to understand than we can imagine. A possible instance I can quote. Some lovely students from the Special Education Department of LPS, catering to the needs of physically and mentally lesser privileged, are now a part of fb. Without the bias, prejudice as well as predilection, which confines them to a separate identity in the real world, they are posting pictures, ‘likes’ and comments like anyone of us. This is ‘inclusion’ at its best. One of my favorite moments from last year is when a girl deprived of the blessings of speech posted ‘you’re beautiful’ on my then profile picture. In the six years I had known her, it was the first time I heard her thoughts. I still smile as I remember it. Endeavor to understand. There is more to the world than we think we know.